Caroline
by unbearablelightness
Summary: Caroline forces Nick to acknowledge his feelings.
1. Quitter

Caroline

The apartment is huge. Decorated in monochrome black and white, Caroline has everything highly organized. There is a shelf, a drawer, a _label _for everything. She has a drawer for his white socks and his colored socks. She's always got his beers with the label facing the front in the fridge, lined along the second shelf, perfectly. For every beer he takes out of the fridge, he must restock the empty place using the First In Last Out policy.

Caroline is big on policies.

She's got a policy for the organization of their shoes in the front hall; a policy on the organization of the cupboards for most practical, easy access. She spent six hours, when they moved, organizing their DVD collection alphabetically by genre and then photographing each cupboard, putting the photos in a reference scrapbook where the 'master copy' of the organized DVD collection could be reached in case of emergency.

Caroline is organized, precise, and very modern. She drank coffee that was brewed only in a single-cup Keurig machine. Never filter drip. She always drank from a stainless steel to-go mug, conscious of her carbon footprint. She made vegan meals twice a week, trying slowly to introduce her and Nick to a more environmentally-friendly palate.

In all the chickpeas and tiny stick-on labels in his condom drawer, Nick thought he was happy.

.

Neurosis aside, their relationship was good. Great, even. They went out together far more frequently than they'd ever done in their previous relationships together. Nick cooked her meals – sometimes even vegan – and they made love in every room in their house. Uncomfortably so, most often. It wasn't as hot as Nick thought it would be, having sex on an IKEA apothecary table in their never-used library.

A library: where Caroline and Nick's books were all neatly organized on a chrome shelf, with a little label inside that clarified who the book belonged to.

She labelled things like that, like in _When Harry Met Sally._ She very much liked to know who's was who, what belonged to who, and who would get it back when and if the bookshelf was no longer _theirs._

Nick had his guard up, too. While Caroline often spoke in the long-term, implying that in ten years from then they'd be together, perhaps exploring Spain or opening a café together, Nick had a difficult time truly imagining it.

He was happy, glad to finally be reunited with the woman who'd always seemed to be his soul mate, living in their black and white apartment. He was happy. He w_as. _

He was, he was, he was.

.

It had been a month. A month since they'd signed the lease and moved in. A month since Jess had caught Nick in the bathroom, telling him that he deserved love.

That he was the best.

That her face fell when he told her he was moving out.

His move out was uncomfortable. Jess had been fairly quiet, only once asking him if he was _sure _that he wanted to leave.

He'd said he was sure.

Nick hadn't gone back to the loft since moving. Jess, Schmidt and Winston had all hung out the bar, cozy in a booth with Caroline, or lined up along the bar wood. He'd expected it to be slightly uncomfortable with the six of them. He'd expected his former roommates to act coldly toward Caroline. They'd reacted so violently to his moving out and getting back together with Caroline; he'd figured that in her presence they would do all they could to manipulate her to break up with him.

But they were pleasant. They included her in conversation. Jess invited them over for dinner, offering Caroline her recipe for Nick's favorite red velvet cupcake. Caroline had graciously accepted, in response inviting Schmidt, Winston and Nick to a wine-tasting exhibit she was hosting.

It was good, it was nice.

Nick couldn't understand why he felt such a pain in his stomach. It wasn't from his new fibrous vegan diet.

**To be continued**


	2. Wedged

Caroline

They were out at a local club listening to live music. An acoustic, bluesy set in a dim bar with exposed brick. Things were going fine. They'd had a beer before leaving. Things were normal. Numb.

And then, Caroline went to go get them a bottle of wine.

.

Nick had given her his wallet, insisting he pay for the wine. He sat quietly in his chair in between bands, checking his phone. He looked up when Caroline was squeezing her way through the crowd back to the table. She was empty handed.

"My card wasn't declined was -"

She slapped a slip of paper against the table.

O_ne free certificate for piping hot, nerdy sex._

The pain in Nick's stomach seized up tighter. He opened his mouth to explain. He'd forgotten he'd kept it at Christmas, jokingly telling Jess that he was going to cash it in later.

The thing was, he'd consciously put it into his wallet when they'd gotten home from the mall. He hadn't done it to be gross and try to sleep with her. He hadn't wanted Paul to get it. At the time, he didn't want to think about Jess and Paul having piping hot sex together. It bothered him; created a little lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow.

And now, Caroline was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips.

In the corner of the certificate was a little signature: "Redeemable through Jessica Day" with a heart around it. He hadn't noticed that. There was no way of _not _acknowledging who the proprietor was. It was written in sparkly red gel pen.

Caroline said nothing. Her raised eyebrows prompted an explanation. Nick panicked to think of a logical, believable excuse that would ease the sharp disdain on his girlfriend's face.

"Listen, Caroline, this is actually kind of a funny story…" Sweat began to form. "Sorry, do you want to talk about this _now_?" He pointed to the stage. "The band is about to come back on."

"We're talking about it. Get up."

They slipped outside, into the pitch black late evening night. It was a damp, humid July night. The moisture in the air dampened Nick's clothes, causing them to cling uncomfortably to his body. His mind surged with excuses, Caroline took the conversational reigns.

"I'll keep it simple, Nick. _Why?_"

"Why… what?"

"Why do you have it still? Why did she give it to you?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"It wasn't for _me_, even. It was for her _boyfriend._" Nick's voice cracked. "It's stupid. It was, I mean, it's all a big misunderstanding."

Her expressionless face asked: "You kept a gift that she was giving to her _boyfriend?_ Honestly Nick, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, okay!"

Nick studied the look of frustration painted on Caroline. Frustration and arguing was characteristic of their previous relationship. They fought, they bickered. He spent four years defending himself against her accusations. But now, the look of acute frustration softened to something less severe.

Understanding?

"Caroline, I'm sorry. We'll get rid of it right away. Obviously. I mean, it means … nothing." He felt warm with panic once again.

Cocking her head to the side, Caroline blinked repeatedly. She squeezed her arms tighter across her chest. "Do you still have feelings for her?" Softness remained in her voice; she asked out of curiousity.

Feelings for Jess? Nick shook his head. "Caroline, come on."

"Do you?"

"I've told you! I don't have…" He shook his head again, his stomach clenching with anxiety. He swallowed hard.

His exhalation was staggered, held in. He feared making any sort of movement. Slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans, Nick felt optionless. He hadn't properly considered why he'd taken the gift himself; he was speechless in defending his actions to Caroline.

"Nick, what are we doing?"

What were they doing? Nick didn't know. The heavy air seemed to smother him. Caroline's gaze was on him, her eyes big and sympathetic. Earnestly, she wanted to know. She leaned forward, itching to hear what it was that Nick was going to say to defend himself. She waited, clinging to hear him say the slip of paper meant nothing.

The words wouldn't come. They were wedged in throat, caught, unable to form on his lips to relieve his girlfriend's look of defeat. And then Caroline smiled, a tiny raise of her eyebrows, and she said: "You should tell her, Nick."

He stared at his shoes.

Closing the space between them, Caroline kissed his cheek softly. "I guess I'm too late." She kissed his other cheek. "I'll book the mover for Monday."

.

Nick sat inside the bar, with no place to go. He had nowhere to be. His physical belongings were at Caroline's. He didn't have a toothbrush. Ordering a beer from the cocktail waitress, Nick went back to the table he'd been sitting at. The house band was grooving on stage, halfway through a bluesy rendition of The Supremes' _You Can't Hurry Love_. Unable to keep his mouth from curling into a smile, Nick eyed the certificate lying on the table.

Staring up at the band, Nick slipped the paper back into his wallet.

**Fin. **


End file.
